Unrecognizable

That's what I see when I look at myself in so many ways. I hate the person I've become and I don't just mean the weight. I hate that my weight consumes me, makes me tired and crabby, I feel like I'm lumbering everytime I do something or go somewhere and I hate that my issues with it affect my parenting. I am quick to get grouchy and I know it's cuz I'm irritated with myself, not necessarily the boys or Brent, but they bear the brunt of my bitchiness, which is entirely unfair. I have had some serious thoughts as to seeking an addiction counselor. Candy and sweets consume me. I am tired of my clothes not fitting or wearing stuff that doesn't look very cute b/c it's a huge size. The other night at supper, both of the boys made a comment about my weight and while it hurt to hear it, I couldn't put down my food. What the hell does that say about me??? I heard something one time that said I don't need to lose weight to be happy, but be happy and the weight will be lost. I try to adhere to that philosophy, but I'm sure it came from someone skinny trying to inspire millions! I plan to dust off the journal SheShe sent me and get crackin.