Commitments

I made a commitment to blog. I made a commitment to drink more water. I made a commitment to eat healthier. I made a commitment to my husband 12 years ago this Sunday. Why can I keep a commitment to my husband for 12 years already and yet I can't keep my other commitments? I struggle with this because they seem to simple and yet are the most difficult to stay committed to. My Butts and Guts class is more than 1/2 over and I don't look any different from behind, the side, the front or any other way you look at me. I know it's because I can't change my entire body with 2 workouts a week. I need to be doing something in between. The instructor scheduled some make up classes for us. I made it to one so far. Tonight class is cancelled because of the weather. We had class Monday and a make up both Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn't make it to either of them. I could have gone last night, but I had some other errands that I had been putting off for over a week. It felt great to get them off my 'to-do' list and I did eat well yesterday, so I guess that's how I justify it. The weather is continually getting cooler, so maybe I'll feel more like I can get to the gym rather than wanting to get home to be outside doing stuff. I did step on the scale on Tuesday and was depressed with the number. I stepped on today and it was down 2 lbs. Don't get too excited. I fluctuate those 2 lbs continuously. We are having a dinner party get together at my friend Amy's this weekend. She does the B & G class with me. I am down to bring a salad. I am going to find a healthy one and I am not going to over eat! (I'm going to save most of my calories for wine!) This morning as I was attempting to drag my lumbering body out of the car, saddled with my oversized purse, my briefcase, a full lunchbag and my coffee, it hit me that as difficult as it was because I felt like I weighed 1000 lbs, it will only get worse at winter comes and rages on. Not only will it be all this stuff, but a heavy jacket and heavier clothing in general. I need to get my priorities straight and focus on my health. I've said it before and I'll continue to say it; my weight consumes me so it's not just my physical health that I need to focus on but my mental health as well. I think part of my mental health will be improved when I'm not thinking about my weight all the time. I have my gym bag in the car because I didn't know class was cancelled until I got to work and I usually keep it in the car anyway. Brent went to Minot today and if he gets back in time to pick up the boys, I have no excuse not to go to the gym. I packed only good, nutritous foods today and I've been eating like this all week. If I could just get past the 2 lbs fluctuation, I'd feel like I accomplished something and it would be the spark I need. I just need to stay on track, get past the hump and take it one day at a time.